Books!

Whimsy & Soda is a collection of twelve hilarious short stories featuring the best-known and best-liked characters of P.G. Wodehouse’s fiction—Bertie Wooster and his man, Jeeves.

• In the opening story, “By and By, Bertie,” Bertie Wooster wakes up one morning to find himself changed in his bed into... a parakeet? Shades of Kafka!

• Jeeves takes his annual vacation; the agency sends Bertie the only valet it has available, and that valet is a robot, in “G.E.V.E.”

• “Jeeves Your Own Adventure” allows the reader to play the role of Jeeves himself!

• In “Back to the Wooster,” Bertie, while in New York, is persuaded by a stranger to take a quick car ride... to the year 1967!

• And in “Jeeves and Wayne,” Jeeves helps the Batman begin.

Plus seven more stories!

Ivy Field wasn’t expecting to be named Poet Laureate of the United States (or anything like that) while still a teenager, but neither did she imagine that sending her poems to the Copyright Office would get her so much attention from the federal government. Her innocent filing, however, sets in motion a series of increasingly peculiar events that put in jeopardy both her writing career and her prospects of getting into college, prompting Ivy to go looking for answers.

Taking Ivy Seriously is a quirky, edgy, funny, and always original story that offers wry, irreverent commentary on several venerable institutions. Readers of all ages will love not just Ivy but Ivy’s best friend, Andy, Ivy’s attorney, Susan Gorman, and Susan’s journalist brother, Stuart, as well. The story also features such authority figures as the Postmaster Sergeant of the United States, the Register of Copyrights, the Librarian of Congress, and Ivy’s mom.

There are more cookbooks in print than one can shake a stick at. Throw a stone in any store and you’ll hit a book about how to be environmentally friendly. But, for reasons unclear, there’s been no environmentally friendly cookbook for those who actually shake sticks and throw stones... until now.

Gooroo’s Pro-Magnon Kitchen is a culinary manual for the enlightenment of the Neolithic epicure, stressing the need for protecting the planet while providing for one’s clan. Accompanying sixteen lessons in considerate consumption are recipes for soups, salads, bread, appetizers, entrees, and desserts—for carnivores, herbivores, omnivores, and lapivores all. (Lapivores eat rocks!) Additional material provides direction and advice regarding use of the inedible parts of creatures cooked—hides for clothing, shelter, crafts projects... bones for tools, personal adornment, crafts projects... plus contributions from several cavemen and cavewomen who care—leaders in their respective fields who can see beyond the selfishness of the Stone Age.


Whimsy & Soda

Taking Ivy Seriously
Gooroo’s
Pro-Magnon
Kitchen

The government provides manuals for new home-owners and new motor vehicle operators, but what’s a new superhero to do? Ka-POW! The Government Manual for New Superheroes rushes in to save the day!

The Government Manual for New Superheroes is a hilarious, mock-official handbook that offers thorough, accessible, and completely zany advice for anyone who has always dreamed of donning a skintight spandex uniform and leaping across the rooftops of their cities. Going well beyond tights and capes, this manual provides insight into choosing a name, constructing a costume, choosing the right supertools of the supertrade, establishing a base of operations, maintaining a secret identity, taking or becoming a sidekick, joining a superheroic team, and even finding that special someone who gives meaning to a superhero’s life—a nemesis.

Extra features include a roster of superhero unions, a registration application, several useful charts and tips, and even a list of other government-sponsored periodicals for further reading.

The comedic duo behind The Government Manual for New Superheroes is back, and this time they’ve brought their magic wands and enchanted artifacts.

The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures.

Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutrements—it’s all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority.

The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.

“There be no callin’ ‘dibs’ in piratin’. Booty be divided among the crew, from the lowest deckswabber to the highest masthand. So says the Pirate Code.” – Calico Jack Rackham, king of the pirates.

The Government Manual for New Pirates continues the spoofing of those uber-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove for potential plunderers imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.

The Government
Manual for
New Superheroes
The Government
Manual for
New Wizards
The Government
Manual for
New Pirates

Nice things some nice people
have said about me or my work.

Daniel Menaker

{former Executive Editor-in-Chief of Random House and fiction editor of The New Yorker; author of My Mistake, A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation, and The Treatment}

Matthew David Brozik is a very funny and inventive writer. His pieces for ‘Grin & Tonic’ (a feature of the Barnes & Noble Review that I edit) always manage to be not only funny but surprising—developed in a way that shows imagination, whimsy, and a mordant understanding of the human condition.

Derek Haas

{author of The Right Hand, The Silver Bear, Columbus, and Dark Men; co-writer of the screenplays for 3:10 TO YUMA, WANTED, and THE DOUBLE; and creator and editor of popcornfiction.com}

Matthew David Brozik is a delight to read... pathos, humor, twists and surprises... his fiction packs a wallop and always leaves me wanting more. Glad we’ve found a home for his voice [at Popcorn Fiction]. I'll keep running Brozik’s [stories] as long as he keeps delivering them!”

Rob Kutner

{multiple Emmy-winning CONAN writer and author of Apocalypse How}

Matthew Brozik is a relentless machine of witty, inventive, and giant-brained-and-hearted fictions. I literally never know what’s going to come out of him next, just that I’ll be hooked.

Jeremy Blachman

{author of Anonymous Lawyer}

ONCE A PAWN DIVINE makes going to hell a thoroughly enjoyable trip. Matthew David Brozik writes with a such playfulness and wit, and has a storytelling skill that is consistently enviable—his work makes lawyers seem almost human.

Jacob Sager Weinstein

{author of How Not to Kill Your Baby; contributor to The New Yorker, McSweeneys, and The Onion;
Writers’ Guild of America Award-winner}

Matthew David Brozik marries perfectly polished, deadpan prose to offbeat and inventive stories that constantly bend in unexpected directions.

Brian Boone

{author of I Love Rock 'n' Roll (Except When I Hate It) and editor of the Humor Section at Splitsider.com}

[Matthew] is staggeringly good and prolific. I’d publish something by him every week. Or every other week. (Every week would just be me publishing a column for him, and who has the time in this economy?!) It’s also kind of maddening that he is a successful attorney in addition to being a stellar writer.





Published in/at/near...

The New Yorker... Grin & Tonic... McSweeney’s Internet Tendency... Redivider... Sycamore Review... Popcorn Fiction... [adult swim]...
The American Drivel Review... Apt23.com... Awkward... Barbaric Yawp... The Big Jewel... The Binnacle... Body Parts... Cosmopsis Quarterly... errant parent... Feathertale...
The Fog Horn... Foliate Oak...
Grift Magazine... Heater... Illya’s Honey... Offline Magazine...
Palo Alto Review... Plain Spoke...
The Reject Pile... RE:AL... Sidewalks... Splitsider... Spout Magazine...
The Spark... The Stray Branch...
The Yellow Ham... Zahir.







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